Two disciples are heading to Emmaus. Surely, they are still reeling from the loss
of Jesus, but something keeps them moving.
As they walk along Jesus falls into step next to them. “what are you
talking about?” he wants to know. They respond: “Haven’t you heard? Are you the
only visitor to Jerusalem who is unaware of the things that have taken place?”
in short “what rock have you been living under?” (well, …, begins Jesus)[1]
Reverend Glen of Maple
Grove Methodist church writes:
The original journey to Emmaus took place on Easter
day. In the wake of Jesus’ death, two of
his followers have given up and left town.
While they’re walking and talking, Jesus comes and walks with them. But, Luke says, "their eyes were kept
from recognizing him." Not
"they failed to recognize him," but "their eyes were kept from
recognizing him." In other words,
it wasn’t their fault, it wasn’t some problem with their eyes or a lack of
faith. No one’s blaming them.
Maybe grief or disappointment got in their
eyes. After all, their hopes in Jesus
have been dashed, their expectations left unmet. They’d been so excited about Jesus, put so
much faith in him, that when he died there didn’t seem to be anything to do but
leave, put it all behind them. Oh sure,
there were some people who said Jesus was alive again, but who could believe
talk like that? They hadn’t seen him
yet. So, on they walked, telling this
stranger about their problems with Jesus, never suspecting the stranger was
Jesus.[2]
It is kind of funny as we
watch the two disciples, accompanying each other in their grief walking to Emmaus
they encounter a person. We know it is
Jesus but they don’t. In the midst of their grief, in the middle of their heart
break, Jesus, as a stranger offers this…tell me your story and I will walk with
you I will companion with you as you
move through this moment in your life.
Even though Jesus was
there and experienced way more than any of the disciples had, he said
nothing. He allowed them to tell their
story, to share their experience from their own place, their own perspective
with all the grief, disappointment and feeling of a lost movement. This is a model of what spiritual Direction
is based upon. It allows one to talk through their emotions and life freely
without judgement.
The vision of a house of
prayer for all people and a table, where all God’s children are welcome, also
means we have a space where all God’s children call for some type of pastoral
care. One common area of pastoral care
that is seeing a resurgence in the world today is spiritual direction which I
prefer to refer to as spiritual companioning.
Spiritual Companioning
calls for passionately and compassionately walking with people on their
spiritual journey. Creating a welcoming
and inviting space where the traveler is made to feel comfortable in sharing
their path. The Spiritual Companion, in
turn, is a witness to the journey and may help to point out moments of God’s
spark that have come along the way. I
intentionally use the language of companion and traveler that is not commonly used. The relationship between a Spiritual
Companion and/or friend and the Spiritual Traveler is rarely one that is truly
director and a directee experience. As a
spiritual companion, I do not direct any one and I choose to stay away from
those terms.
Margaret Guenther states;
“The art of spiritual direction lies in our uncovering the obvious in our lives
and in realizing that every day events are the means by which God tries to
reach us.”[3] As Companions, we notice
things along the path that a Traveler may have missed, overlooked or did not pay
close enough attention too. We simply ask the Spiritual Traveler to stop, take
moment and perhaps, if they choose to notice and to explore what God has placed along the path.
A good definition of
spiritual companioning is in the book The Art of Spiritual Direction by W. Paul
Jones who states;
Providing companionship on someone’s pilgrimage;
walking together in the Spirit so as to provide support, discernment, and
encounter; integrating spiritually at the intersections of the person’s
intellectual, emotional, social, and cultural contexts.[4]
The opportunity to share
in such a relationship is one of the greatest and most sacred gifts I can
imagine. I am astounded by the grace
that God has found a way to allow me to be such a companion to another and I hold
the opportunity as such. The
Companioning relationship is truly a gift of God.
The art of Spiritual
Companioning is as old as the earth itself. W. Paul Jones Points out that in
the Hebrew Scriptures. . . “The Bible’s first story concerns spiritual direction. Adam and Eve had regular appointments to walk
with God ‘at the time of the evening breeze’ (Gen. 3.8)”[5] This day and age, we still continue to walk
with God it is just that we sometimes need some help in noticing what God has
left for us along the path of our journeys.
I am forced to emphasize
that Spiritual Companioning is not a clinical act. It is not a quick fix. It is a long enduring relationship where two
people set out on a journey together intentionally listening for and seeking
out the God moments in life. On the road
to Emmaus, the two disciples were joined by another traveler. These travelers
ate, drank and discussed many a thing about Jesus and his ministry but it
wasn’t until Christ was gone could they open their eyes and look back and see
all the signs that God had been with them. “They said to one another were not
our hearts burning inside us as this one talked to us on the road and explained
the scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:32) There are times when our hearts are burning
and we do not know why. It takes another
Companion to look lovingly along the path to help the Traveler see what they
have missed.
Again, Spiritual
Companioning is a gentle long walk and is not clinical encounter. It is not a
medical procedure, nor is it meant to be a fix all session and then we are
done. Again, let me use Paul Jones to affirm this.
Spiritual Direction is not psychotherapy nor is it an
inexpensive substitute, although the disciplines are compatible and frequently
share raw material. Spiritual direction
is not pastoral counseling, nor is it to be confused with the mutuality of deep
friendships, for it is unashamedly hierarchical. Not because the director is somehow ‘better’
or ‘holier’ than the directee, but because, in this covenanted relationship the
director has agreed to put himself aside so that his total attention can be
focused on the person sitting in the other chair. What a gift to bring to another, the gift of
disinterested, loving attention![6]
In the midst of the
relationship of Companion and Traveler, there may arise a need of that which is
more than the Companion can offer. It is
important to know ones limitations and the limitation of the relationship
itself. I have no qualms allowing a Traveler to be referred for pastoral counseling
or even more medical counseling along with Spiritual Companioning. As a result
of co-operating with other professionals the road may become easier for a
person to travel. This does not diminish
the Companioning relationship at all in fact this can only enhance the
Companion relationship by leaving the psychological distress of everyday life
at the counseling office allowing the Traveler to focus on the spiritual.
It may be required here to actually
distinguish between the different opportunities of services available and how
one or the other is not Companioning and what is. Therapy is for when mental or
emotional pain becomes overwhelming, so overwhelming that one seems unable to
cope with the stress of everyday living.
Therapy may take many forms, but it usually is initiated by a crisis,
and the relationship works to free a person so that they may cope with daily
living.
Counseling is needed to resolve a problem, clarify an
issue, or sort out a particular situation, usually for the sake of making a
decision. Whatever methods are used,
they usually evoke “now” feelings that clarify the implicit issues. The working assumption is that by providing
firm support, the pros and cons can be identified, and the person is thus able
to make a decision and follow through with it.[7]
Spiritual Companioning is
the art of entering into a relationship thoughtfully, prayerfully and seeking
out the Holy. Jeffery Gaines, the former director of Spiritual Directors
International, describes Companioning as “always happening in the context of
prayer and spiritual intimacy . . . discernment is based upon the intimate
engagement of two people walking into the sanctuary of God.”[8] Spiritual Companioning is about “the great
unfixables in human life. It’s about the
mystery of moving through time. It’s
about morality. It’s about Love. It’s about things that can’t be fixed.”[9] It is a quiet and gentle walk as one holds
open the presence of the Spirit so that eyes may observe, hearts may feel, and
mystery and awe can be expressed fully with great understanding and compassion.
Jesus ministry here, as
the companion, touches on grief. The
grief of these disciples. And Grief when one can name it, talk about it and
share it is a great thing. It is a
natural process and often times we do not even realize that we are in the midst
of grief.
Grief and grieving are the natural response to a major
loss, such as the death of a loved one. Loss can cause feelings of grief,
sometimes when you least expect it.
You may find that old feelings of grief
from past loss can be triggered by current experiences or anniversaries of that
loss. This is normal.
Anticipatory grief is grief that happens
in advance of an impending loss. You may feel anticipatory grief because a
loved one is sick and dying. Anticipatory grief helps us prepare for loss.[10]
I bring this up because
you may or may not realize it but there is grief in losing a pastor, there is
grief when rituals changed. This time in
between settled pastors can be unsettling.
The thing is one can be grieving a loss and not even realize it.
Especially when that loss is not as concrete and obvious as a death. When a pastor leaves there is a time of grief
and one should be allowed to express it, often times though, until it is
mentioned, defined one may not realize this is even happening.
It’s an odd thing because
even though the Pastor was gone the church went one. Services continued. You had guest
pastors. From an outsider view it all
appeared like any other church. The shift is subtle. Now I am here but I am not your settled
pastor. I am here to help you make ready for the new pastor. Part of the
process is to acknowledge your feelings around your past pastor and her
leaving. To acknowledge your grief, your
frustration with change, your need for all this “transition” to be over, or
whatever else may be coming up for you.
I know some of you are
probably thinking what is he talking about our pastor left and now we move on
and yet for others there is pain, sadness, maybe even anger or disappointment. In the old days which are not that long ago a
pastor came and stayed. There are
churches who have only had a handful of pastors over the period of 150 years. In this day and age things are changing.
First thing we realize
all pastors are transitional pastors.
Meaning that most pastors do not stay till retirement but also the
nature of congregations and ministry is in and of itself transitional by
nature. The dynamic of the congregation
is constantly changing and as is the world in which we seek to serve.
The person you sit next
to in a pew today is not the same person next week, even if they are physically
the same person. The world is changing
faster than we can keep up with. The
needs and the wants spiritually and emotionally for this congregation as a
community are not the same as they were when Blyhte started here. They will not
be the same tomorrow or a year from now.
So in this time of
intentional transition and preparation I lift you in prayer. I acknowledge there are emotions and loss
here. I honor each and every voice and
concern raised and I will do my best to address your needs. We also will do our bests to address the
needs of the building. Part of the
process in preparing to call a new “settled Pastor” is putting your best face
forward.
In that the kitchen is
obvious and we are doing our best to get it finished and resolved. Other things
include taking a walk around the building and neighborhood and well what do we
see. I will tell you the first two
things that concerned me just coming to the church the first time. How do people know you are here? The second is we proclaim to be open and
affirming and yet how would someone know that walking in? IF you are interested UCC resources actually
has upcoming webinars on ONA 101 on may 2 ONA and the bible, may 9, and ONA 201
Best Practices for church Growth and there are groups rates available though we
would have to move quickly for the May 2nd.
In today’s gospel Jesus
walked besides the grieving disciples offering spiritual companionship. That is what I am called to do as an
intentional interim pastor. I am going
to walk beside you offer you spiritual companionship. On the other hand, I am going to challenge
you as a congregation to make yourself ready physically and spiritually to call
a new Pastor. This is a gradual process and it will take time but I am here for
you through this process. I promise to
make it as peaceful and gentle and fun as possible.
One final thought, as
Jesus sat down with the followers for a simple meal. He took bread, blessed it and broke it and at
that moment the follower’s eyes were opened. It is at the table, in the
breaking of the bread that Christ is revealed to us. It is coming together at God’s table where
all are welcome that strengthens and helps us grow as a community. No matter our pain, our grief or our
differences, it is in this church that we are called to come together as Christ
revealed, the body of Christ to companion each other on our journey, to b
spiritual companions to each other. As
we journey, I pray that this road be light, that the wind will be at our backs
and that we remember Christ always goes before us.
[2] Glenn
Schwerdtfeger, Journey With Jesus- The Emmaus Road, March, 2013, accessed April
25, 2017,
http://www.maplegroveumc.org/about-maple-grove/sermons/item/102-journey-with-jesus-the-emmaus-road.html.
[3] Margaret
Guenther, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction (Cambridge,
Mass: Cowley Publications, 1992).
[4] W. Paul Jones, The
Art of Spiritual Direction: Giving and Receiving Spiritual Guidance
(Nashville, Tenn: Upper Room Books, 2002).
[8] News,
Spiritual Direction as Choosing Life.
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