A story
of a prodigal by definition is of one who spends money recklessly.
Henri
Nouwen renowned spiritual writer engages this story so deeply that he ended up
writing a whole book on it. Henri
describes his first encounter of Rembrandt’s interpretation of this passage and
what led him to ponder this story.
“When I
first saw the prodigal son, I had just finished an exhausting six-week
lecturing trip through the united states, calling Christian communities to do
anything they possibly could to prevent violence and war in Central
America. I was dead tired, so much so
that I could barely walk. I was anxious,
lonely, restless, and very needy….It was in this condition I first encountered Rembrandt’s
Prodigal Son on the door of Simone’s office.
My heart leapt when I saw it.
After my long self-exposing journey, the tender embrace of father and
son expressed everything I desired at that moment. I was indeed, the son exhausted from long
travels; I wanted to be embraced; I was looking for a home where I could feel
safe. The son-come-home was all I was
and all I wanted to be. For so long I
had been going from place to place: confronting, beseeching, admonishing, and
consoling. Now I desired only to rest
safely in a place where I could feel a sense of belonging, a place where I
could feel at home.”[1]
Have you
ever felt that way? Ever feel like you
have been fighting for, working for, striving for something for so long that
you are just exhausted…tired of fighting, striving…you just wanted a place that
is safe, warm and welcoming…a place that says come into my arms and rest your
struggle is done, relax, you are safe here.
It doesn’t matter how you got here, it doesn’t matter what you did right
or what you may have done wrong this is about rest in the journey.
This is
a story of a homecoming, this is a story of a young person’s search and
discovery, this is a story of a loving fathers longing for a complete family
and this is a story of a brother who gets a little green when it comes to
parity. I wonder who each of you is in this story. I wonder where the mother is, is there a
mother?
I know
for me in this story I can identify with the prodigal. I was raised a young good catholic. I went to church every Sunday, I excelled at
Sunday school, I was an altar boy and I dreamt of being a missionary
priest. In high school I worked with the
worship committee and volunteer student services and was in a Christian rock
band.
Sure I
had my moments of trouble. I even ran
away for a weekend not so much cause things were bad at home more seeking the
opportunity for travel. When I was a kid
I was nick named Charlie brown especially because of my luck with kites but as
I became a teenager and into young adult hood I think I became more like
huckleberry Finn with a deep yearning for travel and adventure.
After
coming into my true self as a Gay man I sought out Dignity Detroit. I so wanted to remain a good catholic though
who I was existed in direct opposition to the clerical hierarchy of the
Church. When the church finally asked
that Dignity meet anywhere besides a catholic church, though dignity Detroit
remained in their original home for years, I left. The order was enough to tell me I was not
welcome any more.
So I took
my inheritance and I left the church. It
is interesting to note that when the prodigal asks his father for his share of
his inheritance the father divides up the property and a few days later the son
is on his way. This is so matter of
fact, there is no complaint no bargaining it is just; “well here you go have fun…” I can’t help but in my mind’s eye see the
father turn around give a slight smile and say to himself he’ll be back in a
day or so.
So what
was my inheritance? What had the
Catholic Church gave me to take with me as I left? Well it had taught me to ask questions thanks
to some very liberal teachers in high school.
It had given me a sense of spirituality and spiritual practice. It had allowed me to seek what God and a
relationship with the divine meant for me and as I walked away that is what I
carried with me.
In Luke
it explains after everything was spent a great famine broke out. The prodigal spends his inheritance, it
doesn’t say he spent it foolishly, it doesn’t say he spent it wisely. It just says “everything was spent”,
exhausted, beat, beaten, burned-out, bushed, dead, and done. Those are just a few of the synonyms. Now who hasn’t felt that way? I mean in just the day to day of trying to
get by, who hasn’t felt completely spent?
I think
that description matches me. I left
Detroit for Chicago for a weekend with a friend…after the weekend came to an end
I was like; “I have a friend in Long beach!”
I don’t know why but I had packed nothing where my friend packed all he
had…he had no intention of returning to Detroit.
Spent
about two months in Long beach searching for a job…Finally had a job interview
and there was a sign on the door…”went to Disney!”…only in California, I swear.
I had my
ups and downs. I had good times and
bad. At one point I had been kicked out
of what had been my home with my bags literally outside the door and I had to
sue to gain some of my other belongings and some semblance of retribution for
three years of work.
I had to
get emergency housing and was put in a hotel that leaked as it rained a cold
winter desert rain. I ended up sleeping
on couches and floors for several weeks and eating a lot of sandwiches as I
waited for assistance to come through so that I could find a place to live. The
Famine had hit
I was
exhausted…I was beaten down …I was hungry spiritually for some sort of
strength…I returned to the Church. A
place I knew as home. I quietly walked
in and I sat in the very back row. I returned as a prodigal, beaten and
exhausted tired of fighting for scraps.
Now the
Minister didn’t see me coming from a long way off and run out to greet me. No and yet looking back…God did.
You see
all the time I was seeking, searching, surviving, living, partying, fund
raising, educating…no matter what I was doing my inheritance, that deep down spiritual life and connection
to God was still there informing my every move.
When I felt it was entirely spent God came running out to greet me. I can’t tell you what was said, what was
sung, or how the service even went that day.
I can tell you I cried.
I cried
out that exhaustion, I cried out my frustration, I left what was bitterness and
pain in the church that day. God had
come running out to greet me.
It is
interesting that in the story the son comes seeking forgiveness, seeking to be
made the lowest in his father’s house, seeking nothing but some semblance of a
life. Yet just as he is barely in sight
his Father see’s him and is moved. That
is what the story says; “While still a long way off the father caught site of
the child and was deeply moved.”
I know I
am playing with synonyms today but let’s go there…to be moved is a visceral
reaction, it is to be fired up, to excite, impassion, to stimulate or enflame. This is strong, do you hear it? This is a once in a lifetime type of reaction
so much so that the father doesn’t hear the sons plea of forgiveness but throws
his arms around him, kisses him , gives him rings and robes and throws a party!
Why such
a visceral reaction? Why was it so
strong? Well remember in my version the Father walks away with a grin on his
face thinking oh he’ll be back? I hear
further the father thinking; I have been there and done that he needs to learn
his lesson. But then he doesn’t come
back right away. The son stays gone till
he has spent his inheritance. Taking in
consideration what the father has when the son returns, I suspect, that was a
pretty good inheritance. Therefore, no
matter how he chooses to spend it, it took a while to spend.
I know
this is a story to display God’s love and welcoming back into the flock of a
sinner. But it is using humans as an example, which makes sense if we are
created in the image, not exactly like and not perfect, but the image of
God. Gods own behavior might resemble
some of ours.
So the
father is smug at first. Let me give my
son a taste of the real world, a taste of freedom and he will be back quickly
for the world is nothing as he imagines.
But then that day turns into a few days, then weeks and months. Soon it has been a long time with no word and
no sign of his son. Is he doing well, or
has he fallen in with a bad crowd. What
if he is in jail? What if he is sick or
worse yet dead?
The
longer the time apart the more worried the father becomes, the longer apart the
greater the possibility of no return. Yet, I believe, if it was one day or 1000
days the greeting would be the same. En
impassioned joyous welcome home. You see
the Father in this story, just as god doesn’t really want to let us go. But that is what free will is about…it is in
Gods nature to let us go.
Henri
Nouwen speaks of it this way…
How much would he have liked to pull
them back with his fatherly authority and hold them close to himself so that
they would not get hurt?
But his love is too great to do any of that. It cannot constrain, push,
or pull. It offers the freedom to reject
that love or to love in return. It is precisely the immensity of the divine
love that is the source of the divine suffering. God, creator of heaven and
earth, has chosen to be, first and foremost a father.[2]
God has
chosen to be a parent, a parent who sometimes must set us free to allow us to
do what we must do to become who we are. I mean how many times have any one of
us looked back on our lives and said I would not be where I am now if I had not
gone through what I did. I actually could not write what I write today, or any
day for that matter had I not gone through and lived all that I lived. Yes I often wonder about the what ifs, but if
I were given an opportunity to go through it all again…I would for it has
brought me here in front of you all today.
God the
parent, grieves when we separate ourselves for the love that is extended and
yet as soon as we start to walk back, God comes running out to greet us…no need
for confession there is no concern there…That is what we hold against ourselves
not God.
“There
is no lust, greed, anger, resentment, jealousy, or vengeance in his (God’s)
lost children that have not caused immense grief to his (God’s) heart…From the
deep inner place where love embraces all human grief, the Father (creator)
reaches out to His (the) children. The
touch of His (God’s) hands radiating inner light only seeks to heal.”[3]
This is the lesson of the moment of assurance we have here every Sunday. There is nothing you can do, nothing you can
say, think or pray that will separate you from the love of God.
But yet
God goes further…God Goes over the top…Isn’t that what this parable
portrays? Henri Nouwen goes on to
comment; “I realize that I am not used to the image of God throwing a big
party.”[4] Well now isn’t that an understatement. I mean we all have this image of God that is
all commanding, Judging, Powerful and dead serious. Where did that come from? I mean as followers of Christ there isn’t
much of this “judginses” going on in Christ’s teachings. I mean if Christ is any example are we
surprised when the Loving parent throws a huge party at the return of the son.
As in
this parable, and many others, God is waiting …just waiting to throw this big
feast. Not only is the invitation there,
the party will start without you until you arrive. Yet, as in another Parable, it doesn’t matter
when you show up; just show up for the last will receive just the same as the
very first. “Celebration belongs to God’s Kingdom. God not only offers
forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing, but wants to lift up these gifts as a
source of joy for all who witness them.”[5]
Guess what…we get the honor of witnessing it here every week, heck any day you
walk in here. This is the place where
you are welcome as part of the creators loving family. We witness it every Sunday when it is
proclaimed that this is not our table it is God’s and there is nothing…nothing
that can prevent you from participating in the little banquet. Yes I called the communion here the little
banquet for the feat the creator has set aside for us is so much greater than
we can even imagine.
So you
see, you are allowed to walk away…you are allowed to spend your inheritance…you
are allowed to come back home tired, broke, spent and the loving parent that is
God will be waiting to clothe you, heal you and give you respite. The loving parent is ready to throw you a
feast; a party to allow you to sing and dance.
I truly enjoy the way Carey Landry expressed this in a song; “and the
creator shall dance as on a day of Joy God will exalt over you and renew you
with God’s love.” All of this is so that when you are ready you can step boldly
and proclaim that you are a child of God. Amen.
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